Saturday night at eight o'clock found me not at the films however at the Cinema Museum, a hidden gem near the Oval cricket ground in South London, situated in a former workhouse which was briefly home to the young Charlie Chaplin after his mom fell on hard times.

Truth be told, I south of the river. As Dave, from the Winchester Club, cautioned Arthur Daley: 'Lot of really wicked people' in Sarf Lunnon.

Coincidentally, the occasion was a one-man show by my old mate George Layton, star, director, scriptwriter, author, whose finest hour - at least to my mind - was playing Des, the dodgy car mechanic in Minder.

George was reading from his collection of brief stories embeded in the 1950s, when he was maturing in post-war Bradford. They're wonderfully written, warm, funny, expressive, a piece of history, a working-class version of Richmal Crompton's Just William adventures.

The stories are based upon the trials and adversities of a boy being brought up by a single mother - an unconventional family life back then, unfortunately just too typical today. The Fib And Other Stories has remained in print considering that 1975 and found its way on to the school curriculum, where it remains today.

I can't help questioning, though, how often these marvelous texts are utilized in class these days, in between teachers stuffing their pupils' little heads with fashionable far-Left propaganda about 'white opportunity', colonialism and, naturally, climate modification.

The kids in the monochrome school photograph which formed the background to George's reading were definitely white, however no one might have described them as fortunate. Those were the days when 'austerity' suggested living from hand to mouth, not needing to settle for a fundamental 50in flat screen TV, rather of a 65in OLED Ultra model, and only being able to pay for an iPhone 14 rather than the current all-singing, all-dancing AI version.

Child poverty was genuine, bread-and-dripping, holes-in-your-shoes things, not dining on Deliveroo and unwillingly using last season's Nike trainers.

Until the digital/social media transformation, kids acquired their knowledge mostly from books, writes Littlejohn

In the 1950s, children experienced authentic difficulty, not the hardship of aspiration and imagination which blights this generation, through no fault of their own. Today, kids live via their cellphones, instead of strolling free and experiencing life to the complete.

Until the digital/social media transformation, kids acquired their understanding mainly from books. Yes, TV played a huge role, as did the motion pictures, however no place near the supremacy of TikTok and other apps providing pleasure principle in byte-sized portions.

And how can squinting at the most recent CGI produced hit on a cellular phone a few inches wide ever compare with the sort of old-school, huge screen, Technicolor and Cinemascope, best-out-of-Hollywood experience commemorated at the Cinema Museum?

It can't. Just as the very best photos are stated to be on the radio, even better photos can be discovered in the printed word.

One of the most depressing things I've checked out just recently was the author Anthony Horowitz bemoaning the reality that his 300-page books are far too long to engage the shorter attention periods these days's children.

Not surprising that kid, and indeed adult, literacy levels have actually plunged amazingly. All this has actually added to the shocking revelation that white, working class pupils - boys in particular - are being left. Even Labour's Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson has actually been forced to admit they have been 'betrayed' by the modern schools system.

They suffer from a lack of parental involvement and following scarceness of goal. The white, working class young boy in George Layton's stories definitely didn't suffer any parental neglect from his aggressive mum. Nor did he do not have imagination or aspiration.

Education was the way out of poverty. It produced eloquent wordsmiths like George, in post-war Bradford - and our own dear Keith Waterhouse, late of this parish, who grew up in hardship in neighboring pre-war Leeds.

Literacy is the best gift we can bestow on any kid. My grandmas taught me to read before I went to school, setting me on the early roadway to a satisfying career at the wordface instead of the relative drudgery of the office.

George Layton is considering taking his one-man show on the roadway, to little provincial theatres. I've got a much better idea.

If the Education Secretary wishes to reverse the betrayal of white, working class kids she might start by picking up the phone and inviting George to explore schools, checking out from his short stories.

I honestly think that if they might be encouraged to look up from their mobiles for an hour, they 'd be enthralled and inspired by the experiences of a young boy not that various to them, in spite of the distance in years.

You never understand, there might even be another Charlie Chaplin amongst them.

When they're not tasering one-legged 92-year-old guys or nicking individuals for posting hurty words on the internet, the police are increasingly taking sidelines to supplement their earnings.

Some are working as painters and decorators, others as scaffolders nand delivery drivers. More intriguingly, second tasks also consist of a DJ (PC Hammer, anybody?) and a reiki instructor, whatever that is.

My favourites are beekeeper and kickboxing coach, although the copper running a tea store needs to take the biscuit.

It's likewise reported that some officers are working as supermarket checkout assistants. I don't expect there's any danger of them nicking a couple of shoplifters.

Mind how you go.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Couple in their 70s who bought a child from a complete stranger are self-centered in the extreme

First the frogs, now the octopuses The illegal migrant armada crossing the Channel daily might turn out to be the least of our problems. We now discover that a fleet of foreign octopuses from the Med is feasting on crab stocks off the coast of Devon and Cornwall and threatening to put regional anglers out of service.

It's bad enough French trawlers hoovering up our fish without migrant molluscs assisting themselves to what's left.

We're also informed that parakeets from India and Pakistan are an 'unstoppable invasive types' having actually left into the wild and are colonising cities as far afield as Plymouth and Aberdeen. No doubt we'll be putting them up in the closest Holiday Inn eventually.

And that's before I get to the buzzard that's been dive-bombing kids in a school playground in Romford, Essex. Where the hell did that originated from?

We've got enough problem with home-grown Stuka-style pigeons without importing kamikaze buzzards.

Take Labour's 'ambition' to spend a pitiful 3 percent of GDP on defence by the year 2525 with a shovel-load of Maldon's finest. The method Rachel From Complaints is taxing the economy to death, there won't be any GDP left in a few years' time. And 3 percent of things all is still pack all.

AN NHS surgeon who compared Islamist terrorists to the Nazis has actually been struck off. If he 'd stated the exact same about those people who desire to leave the European yuman rites convention, Surkeir would have made him Attorney general of the United States.

Having just recently declared that the original ancient Britons were black, the woke deconstructionists now declare the Vikings were Muslims. Don't these individuals ever take a day of rest?